The Big Misunderstanding
by JustAnEpicPerson
Summary: Sonic the Hedgehog and Tails find themselves in the Cars universe after a despicable plot from Dr. Eggman, with no way of return from their nightmare.
1. The Beginning of the End

It was another gorgeous day over in the Green Hill Zone. Sonic was just preparing for another run, attempting to break yet another speedrun record in the area, to which he already has the top six, but top seven sounds better, right?

By the start was Tails and Sonic, as Sonic was preparing for the run of his life once again. The weather was simply perfect. Beautiful greens everywhere, massive clean waterfalls, and the iconic checkered soil. Nothing could get in the way today. Nothing was going to stop Sonic the Hedgehog. Tails got out his stopwatch, but was a little uneasy. Sonic noticed he was shaking.

"What's the problem Tails? C'mon!"

"I'm sorry, Sonic! Something seems… off."

"Whatchu talkin about Tails?"

"Look around you! It's so quiet and peaceful, and Eggman hasn't done any wacky stuff in a while. Aren't you worried that he could be planning some secret trap or device on us yet again?"

"Oh Tails! What could possibly go wrong?"

"Sonic, I just told you what could go wrong."

"What's wrong is that you're acting lame. Now quit the shit Tails, let's get going!"

Tails sighed, thinking about how his suicide attempt from the other week could have ended his suffering. But nonetheless, Tails counts down for Sonic.

"1… 2… 3… GO!"

And just like that, Sonic was off, breaking sound barriers and gone in an instant. Tails flew up as fast as he could to get a bird eye's view to find Sonic. And he did find Sonic…. Back by the start of the race.

"How did I do Tails?"

"Four and two tenths seconds. What about rings?"

Sonic farts, releasing tons of rings from his ass.

"Not too shabby, Sonic." Tails, commented.

"What can I say? I'm Sonic the Hedgehog."

Suddenly, the entire field behind blows up in destruction, turning everything black and nasty. Sonic is in shock. Tails couldn't give two shits.

"Not again! Why didn't you warn me Tails?"

"I did, you son of a-"

Even worse, Dr. Eggman shows up in his Egg Monster vehicle, showing up right next to Tails and Sonic.

"HAHAH! I have destroyed your beautiful home once again Sonic! Now will you give me the chaos emeralds!?"

"No! I will never!"

"Then you'll never see your home again either!"

"What are you talking about, egg freak?"

"Here I have this portal to transcend you in another dimension, and until you get me those chaos emeralds, there's nothing you can do to leave!"

"Oh yeah? Well you have to catch me fir-"

Eggman turns on the portal, and Tails and Sonic are gone like that from Green Hill Zone, and into the new dimension.

Sonic and Tails wake up in a dusty field, with nothing to see for miles other than desert. They both cough as they arise.

"Where are we Sonic?"

They look around again, nothing to see once again. Just a few cacti here and there and a rocky terrain.

"I have no idea Tails. I've never seen anything like it."

"I'll fly from above Sonic. Just follow me and we'll see if we can find anything."

"Sounds like a plan!"

Tails flies up. Off in the distance, he sees something.

"SONIC! I FOUND SOMETHING! RUN OVER THERE!" 

Sonic runs fast, and finds himself on a long old highway. Off in the distance, Sonic and Tails spy a highway marker with numbers they can't quite make out.

"Now we're getting somewhere! Tails, what does that pole over there say? Is there a sign?"

"I'll go check!"

Tails wipes the dust off the sign. It reads: ROUTE 66.

"What does it say Tails? You know I can't read!"

"It says Route 66. Apparently we're on some type of roadway in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere."

"Route 66? Huh, that doesn't sound like anything you'd find back on Mobius." Added Sonic, sticking his finger deep in the recesses of his nose. Until, he looks around some more, and finds yet another sign, a bigger one this time.

"Tails! Another sign!"

Tails flies over and reads it.

"It says… Radiator Springs is seven miles from here?"

"Radiator Springs? What kind of Mobius is that?"

"It's not a planet you ape, it's a place. Look! I think I see some kind of vehicle traveling down this road. We should follow and see where it-"

Suddenly, Sonic takes off down the highway, tearing up the road and kicking up clouds of dust that could rival the size of Eggman's plump bosom.

"Wait up you speed freak! Do you always have to do everything so fast?" Sputtered Tails, trying to clear the dust from his lungs.

"Don't you know? I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"AND I'M MATER!"

Sonic and Tails abruptly stop in their tracks, turns around, and sees Mater, a talking truck.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" yelled Sonic, terrified with this new discovery.

"What in the wood pecking Jesus are you?" Mater replies.

"I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog! And just what kind of Metal Sonic are you supposed to be?"

"I'm Mater the tow truck!"

Mater's tow bar grabs Tails' tails. Tails is aroused.

"Whoa… that's cool!"

"No Tails! Not cool!"

"Oh, you wanna see something really cool fellers?" Mater says. He burps.

"How are you burping? You're a damn car!" Tails asks.

"Beats me. Where are y'all from anyway? Chicago?" Mater shivers.

"We're from the Green Hill Zone! And what's this Radiator Springs place the sign us talking bout?"

"It's my howdy home! I can give y'all a ride if you want! Just hop in the back."

"No way bro! I can run faster than you I bet!"

"Oh, is that a race you're talking about? Because you know, I gotta admit, being a tow truck and all, I'm not too fast, but I bet you can't beat my friend Lighting McQueen!"

"He'll be Lighting McLoser when I'm done with him!"

"Oooh boy! I love a good race. Well, I'll have you meet him sometime, but for now, just follow me down to Radiator Springs. It's just seven miles down that way."

"Hey Sonic can you come over here for a second?" Asked Tails

"Sure buddy, what is it?" Sonic walks over to Tails, who proceeds to knee him in his hedgehog testicles.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! We get teleported to some desert in the middle of fucking nowhere by Eggman and the first thing you want to do is race a goddamn TALKING TRUCK?"

"Tails please, this is not the time for a lover's quarrel. We can focus on Eggman after we get to this Radiator Springs place. I could use a good chili dog right about now!"

"Sonic, you are the reason I cut myself at night."  
"Sounds great old pal! Let's get to Radiator Springs, lickety split!"

Sonic starts to run, but falls over, aching because of the pain in his ballsack.

"GOD DAMMIT!"

"Sounds like you need a ride?"

"Fine!"

And so Sonic and Tails hop in Mater's trunk, and go with him down to Radiator Springs, beginning their new found adventure.


	2. Radiator Springs

After a short drive, Sonic and Tails find themselves in Radiator Springs, still the old town Mater has come to call home.

"Well, here we are! Radiator Springs! The cutest little town in Carburetor County! Home sweet home!"

"Aw gross! It smells like feces!" yelled Tails.

"That's probably just your breath, Tails!" replied Sonic.

 _Studio audience laugh track for 20 minutes._

They park in town by the Cozy Cone Motel.

"So this is where y'all will be sleepin! My buddy Sally will get you all tucked in and everything!"

"Thanks for the ride Mater." Tails says graciously

"So what about this Lighting McQueen faggot?" Sonic asks rudely.

"Oh, you'll see him tomorrow I think. He's probably asleep."

"Wait, I'm so confused. Do cars sleep?" Tails asks.

"Good night buddy!" says Mater as he slowly drives away.

Sonic and Tails enter the Cozy Cone Motel, without paying for a room. They get settled in, but the entire room is shaped for cars and is massive. But there's no beds, just massive parking spots.

"What the actual hell is this place?" Asks Sonic

"I guess the universe Dr. Eggman took us to is just some world where cars are superior! But this leaves so many questions like how did these cars come to be? How did they become real? How do they shit? What do they eat and drink? Do they just turn off to sleep? And how do they wake up? This is just tripping me out Sonic." Tails wonders.

"Grrr…. SHUT UP TAILS!" Sonic yells, frustrated for having his brain overwhelmed. "I'M GOING TO SLEEP!"

Sonic goes to sleep instantly. Tails digs through the drawers and finds a Cars porno and jerks off overnight.

The next morning, Tails and Sonic wake up to the sound of the radio, which is just car horn dubstep.

"What the hell? Tails! It's already morning! Get up you lazy sack of potatoes!"

"Aww c'mon Sonic just let me finish this cars magazine I found."  
"Tails are- are you jerking off to a car exhaust? What the hell man."

"Don't knock it till you try it Sonic! I haven't felt this happy in years! I haven't felt this good since I tried heroin!"

"Whatever man. Let's go grab some grub."

Mater crashes through the motel room, completely obliterating it.

"YEE HAW! GOOD MORNING Y'ALL!"

"Morning Mater!"

"So what's there to eat around here anyway?"

"Flo's V8 Cafe is just right around the corner! I'm sure a cup of Joe will get y'all ready to go!"

"And what about chili dogs?"

"A what?"

"CHILI. DOGS. Do I need to spell it out or are you too rusty to listen?"

"I hear you loud and clear, but I have no idea what those doggies are!"

Sonic's heart breaks. He hugs Tails.

"This universe…. It's a dark one."

"C'mon Sonic. We'll make it through buddy."

Carrying Sonic, they go to the cafe across the street. Flo is just preparing some beverages. Flo greets them.

"Why good morning Mater and- THE FUCK ARE THOSE?"

"Oh these are my new porcupine and fox friends, Tailface and Monic! Anywho, they just need some joe to get them going, ya know?"

Flo is shaken and terrified. "Um… just uh… take the whole pot… and never come back for the love of God."

Flo throws a few pots of oil and gasoline over the counter and closes the store.

"Well, here we are fellas! The good stuff."

Mater finds some cups and pours them all glasses of each beverage.

"Bottoms up!"

They all drink, but Sonic and Tails cough for a long time. Sonic is confused.

"What the hell is this?"

"Gasoline and oil! Like two peas in a pod in the morning!"

"We're ANIMALS Mater! How do you expect us to drink gasoline and oil?"

"Beats me. I thought all the critters loved what we loved!"

Tails takes another sip after sipping.

"This shit ain't half bad Sonic!"

"TAILS! That's fucking GASOLINE you're putting in your stomach!"

"And I feel fan-fucking-tastic! Watch how fast I can fly now!"

Tails starts flying, but loses control and speed immediately and goes directly into space, gone from everyone. Mater makes a joke.

"Damn, he went faster and harder than Doc when he died."

"Did you just joke about your dead friend, Mater?"

"Who are we talking about?"

Sonic facepalms. Lightning McQueen shows up.

"What's all the reckus going on and-CHRIST ALMIGHTY WHAT IS THAT?!"

"Oh look Sonic, it's Lightning McQueen!"

"More like Lightning McBeat your ass!"

"What the fuck did you do Mater?"

Sonic approaches Lightning. He breaks his windshield.

"Uh oh. Maybe Doc didn't have it too bad." Mater realizes, seeing his dead best friend.


End file.
